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[3/3] There’s a reason why I’m sharing all of this [part 1/3 and part 2/3] now. In a way, I’m going to trial again. In about two weeks, I’m going to see my parents and relatives. The last time I saw most of them was in court 20 years ago. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don’t have a relationship with my parents to this day. What hurt me the most was that in court, they sat on his side, they were his character witnesses, and they defended him. The last conversation I had with my mother was over the phone and I asked… if you saw it, why didn’t you stop him? She hung up on me.
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The scars from my cousins are deep, but to be honest with you, the scars from my parents not believing me and not being there for me run deeper. I grew up fearing my parents. But deep down, I always thought they’d be there for me. When they weren’t, my world fell apart. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My brother is getting married in less than 3 weeks (he and I are in the photo above) and they’re coming. My brother and I are very close. I’m helping him with the wedding, I wrote my speeches months ago, and I’m officiating the wedding. But now that it’s less than a month away, the depression, anxiety, and PTSD are hitting me like a semi truck. The memories, the shame, the fear, are flooding back. For so many years, I thought I was safe because I’d never have to see them again. But now in order to be in the same room as them, I have to set myself free. And I want to be free so badly! So this is it… this is my truth, my release, my story. And unlike last time when I was alone in court, this time I have my brother, Colin, and women from all over the world standing right next to me. And for that, I’m extremely grateful to you. November 3rd. Two worlds colliding – a celebration & my last battle.

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